2012-2019

Assalamualaikum.

It's been too long since the last time I updated my blog. Sometimes I forgot that I have a blog haha. I created this blog seven years ago. I was very childish at that time (just refer to my old posts haha) but not that I am very mature right now. I think I am still childish and immature.
Honestly, I feel embarrassed when I read my old posts hahahaha and I thought to delete them. But, I think biarlah itu jadi kenangan for me to read in future haha

Okay. I have learned and through a lot after seven years. My journey was a simple journey like most of people's journey. After SPM, then I took STPM and entered university in 2016. In university, I regretted the most in my first and second year because I was not able to do a lot of things that I want to do. I was being a normal student, I went to classes, I skipped some of my classes, I made few friends but still not interested to know more people, I spent most of my time in my room, doing nothing, probably sleeping or watching movies. I did not attend many programs because I was lazy. I preferred going back home every weekend. I did not study very well. I got low marks on my midterm. I am not interested to pick-a-crush like most my friends did haha. There was none of my lecturers that know me. There were lot of people doesn't know me. I always thinking like "whats the point of studying? what do I want to achieve here?" To be honest, there was a time I thought I chose a wrong course. I have a little bit interest of business but there was something that I fucking love. It is Arts. If I could change my course, I would definitely change it. But it has many processes and I need to think of my future as well. I didn't mean arts has no future but my family is more into businesses. I was fascinated listening to violins, guitar, singing and watching them perform their theater. There was a time I was crying listening their singing while waiting for the bus (since their faculty is near to the bus stop) and thinking how I wish to be part of them.. However, I know Allah has the best plan for me.

During my final year, I have changed a lot of things in myself. I was more open to everyone. I want to spend my last year very well so I have no regrets in future. I studied hard, I have a lot of friends, I attended a lot of programs, I spent my weekend with my friends and we also traveled, I met my lecturers in their office room, and finally I already have one crush. A very handsome chinese boy. Hahahahaha

And one of the biggest thing that happened during my last year, which is something that I am very proud of. I performed for Tamu Gadang! (I will share about this later. but idk when hehe) I also performed at college and at Festival Awards for Arts students (this also I will share later. I was very emotional at that time. I performed for Arts students at Arts Faculty!)
I went to the places that I have been before in my university. I go to makan-makan with my friends, go to kbox after class, watching movies, and banyak lagi. And I also prefer more to eat at cafe because before this,I only tapau my food and eat in my room. I really make lot of friends. Also lots people know me too hehehhehe

Besides, during these time, the most important thing that I learnt is to love yourself. By loving yourself, you should know your capabilities. You are more than you know. You should do something that you love. You know who you are and other people don't. I made a big decision for myself. Something that makes people hate me. but I don't blame those people because for me judging is everyone's rights. you may judge me because I also judged people. We all are. But the important thing is, in order to love yourself, you need to learn  more about yourself. By loving yourself, you also will improved yourself. (too many yourself bruh)

That's all. I will try to write more after this.
I have another two weeks before my graduation. what should I do? what should I prepare? ohno.

Hati,
sering tertipu,
sering terpaksa,
sering terabai

Hati,
sering tersakiti.

Manusia kejam,
sering tewas pada kejujuran.
111015

Pengalaman tujuh hari di sekolah teknik

Aku dapat tawaran masuk SM Vokasional. Mulanya, aku dengan yakin mendaftar and bawa terus keperluan asrama. Selesai semuanya, terus masuk dorm. Jumpa kawan baru (kawan?) Daisy, Amy, Lorna , dan Veron. Memandangkan aku seorang saja yang muslim dalam bilik tu, perasaan dipulaukan itu mmg ada tp aku nda kisah. mungkin kami nda banyak spent time sama sama sbb muslim byk aktiviti disurau. diorang ni comel comel juga. 

Then, ada pengumuman turun bawah untuk beriadah (aku first time tinggal asrama)  Tiba2 sorang senior (senior? hmm) jerit, "Rebecca , Rebecca !!"

aku terkejut, terus tanya, "Kenapa?". "Kamu ni muslim kan. Peraturan asrama di sini, setiap pelajar muslim mestilah menutup aurat, Setiap kali kamu keluar selangkah dari bilik kamu, kamu mesti pkai tudung!"

Okay......i have no idea yang mesti pakai tudung di kwsn asrama.   

"Cepat pergi pakai tudung dan turun bawah dalam masa 1 minit, kalau lambat, denda!"

Oh my god. Aku terus lari naik atas (bilik kami  tingkat paling atas) cari tudung, nasib ada bawa satu.

Terus turun. sampai bawah, ada lagi senior tegur, "Adik,kamu ada baju lain ka? baju kamu ni ketat betul." Aku malas mau fikir, aku cakap ja la tiada

"Lain kali jangan pakai macam ni lagi"

"okay, sorry.."

Then, ada lagi satu senior ni tegur, entah lah apa lagi kali ni... "Rebecca , kamu teda cover hand? kalau mau keluar pintu asrama tu mesti pkai cover hand" "okay,  saya naik atas dulu."

waktu jalan menuju ke bilik ni laa, aku start suda fikir macam macam, mmg nangis suda time ni, (fragile kan)

aku selongkar almari, nampak jaket, pakai jaket tu la sbb aku xda bawa cover hand.

"kak , boleh macam ni?" 

"Sebenarnya x boleh pakai jaket d sini, kecuali musim hujan , tapi tak apalah memandangkan kamu ni junior baru d sini,"

sabarlaaa hati.......

Selama 7 hari ,agak sengsara kehidupan aku di asrama ni (entah mungkin first time rasa) .Tiap hari didenda (skuad jump) Kadang kadang tdur jam 3 or 1 pagi. Honestly, menyampah btl tgk senior senior semua tu, rasa diri tu tinggi sgt, tapi sometimes nampak bod*h. mengalahkan warden ( aku nda pernah terima sistem senior dera junior ni, kau teda dapat faedah pun. benci membenci, berdendam adalah. Itu bukan caranya kau mau gain respect from other people) and ada satu masa tu all the seniors kena denda sbb buat juniors tidur lewat. pdn muka.

Setiap hari call mummy. setiap saat rindu mummy, daddy. semua benda aku buat time tu semuanya mesti teringat family. yang lain risau tgk sebab takut aku sakit, menangis sepanjang masa haha (kalau risau, buat baik la dengan aku!)

then one day, hampir seminggu disini, waktu pemberian buku teks, aku baru tahu yg di sini tiada aliran science (sebab terlampau excited dulu, aku nda ambil tahu langsung pun benda ni). 

So, apalagi call mummy utk minta pendapat and mummy suruh pindah. (sbnrnya bukan pasal perkara tu ja, ini melibatkan perasaan dan situasi hahahaha aliran sains tu one of my excuse ja tu)

  "YEAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  

At first, ada masalah juga. Pelajar yang sudah berdaftar di sekolah teknik, tidak boleh memohon semula ke sekolah biasa, kena mohon di Putrajaya utk urusan perpindahan. (idk if its true sbb one of my senior yg ckp. manatau itu utk pujuk aku ja hehe)

Syukur Alhamdulillah my daddy berhasil urus semua (thanks to pengetua yang baik hati hehe) 

Semuanya berjalan lancar .

Happy yang paling happy dapat kembali ke sekolah asal. 

One of my kawan tanya, "Becca , x malu ka pindah sekolah asal balik?!"

Malu tu maybe ada ( sbb sda ucap kata kata perpisahan hahah) tapi disebabkan aku terlalu gembira and besyukur, aku buang perasaan malu tu haha

Semua ini macam mimpi. 7 hari pengalaman di sekolah teknik .